Shopping Consultant T-Shirts

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Cut Price

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Toadstools

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Bad for you but to die for