Retail Consultant T-Shirts

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

"Here's ten dollars off the books, Mrs. Gregory. It's our way of reestablishing customer confidence."

Larry's used art

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

A women in a shoeshop.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

How Amazon was invented

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Sale.

D.I.Y

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''