Shopping Channel Fan Pillows

'We interrupt this amazing offer to bring you an even MORE amazing offer....'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

I love Museum Shops

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

'I wasn't going to eat him, but then he tripped right in front of me.'

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

"No, no, the way you're shifting your papers - it's all wrong."

Hooks R Us.

Hole Sale

"Dad, that's horrible! I'm not trying to roast them: I'm studying them for a school project. . ."

'If I had to kill to survive I'd become a vegetarian.'

"Skunk! How is it?"

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

Pelican with wheels on it's beak.

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

The eskimo lottery...

"What do you mean 'What's for lunch'? You're a bee eater!"

"A Mister 'Ty Gurr' wants to reserve a table next to our fattest customer."

“The jury has requested you pitch your case in the style of a six-part TV mini-series.”

Lord Robert Winston

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

'I'll have the Wildebeest.'

Cycle of Death and Life.

Oranges

"Well, it's about time. I was just about to send out for pizza!"

Market. Last night I spilled broth on my store discount clipping for mustard. There's soup on your Poupon coupon!

'Never misplace a remote control again with this RemoteT-shirt, velcro combo!'

It was love at first sight.

'This could be a new record!'

Alligator shoes.

"I'm sorry for doubting you. I guess I can shop by myself."

Cran-Apple. Cran-Grape. Cran-Raspberry. Cran-Cran.