Shopping Cart Strategist T-Shirts

To prevent aisles form getting plugged up, Food Baron outfitted its carts with shopper prods.

I always practice portion control. 3 portions of this diet entree is about right for me.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Only One Item or Fewer.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'I've got it written down...'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Artificial Isle

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'But what do you sell?'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

Women shopping with children in the trolley.