Shop Floor Strategist T-Shirts

'I guess Hopkins is due for a transfer!'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

Only One Item or Fewer.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'I've got it written down...'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Artificial Isle

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'But what do you sell?'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"Junior just kept saying 'add to cart...add to cart...'."

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'