Staff Room Strategist T-Shirts

"The endless string of budget cuts are making things impossible. It's the worst part of this job. Having to spread so much time with people at the very end of their tether...people with no hope, no optimism for the future...people in a state of despair! A

'That's where they go for adult conversation.'

'Teachers' lounge.'

'I would've preferred the raise.'

"Try the fancy new coffee machine. It's part of the school's new teacher retention program."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Career opportunities

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Uh-Oh..."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."