Shoe Shopping Survivor Gifts

'He's completely exhausted. Next time you're shopping for shoes, leave your husband at home.'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Do you do much walking?"

Smart card.

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'A mind is a terrible thing to make up.'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

Shopping Torture

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"They are so cute, and anything has to be more comfortable than these. Where did you get them?"

"Do they make my feet look big?"

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

Man is attacked by barcodes.

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

'Honestly darlings I don't know how you can spend so long looking at shoes.'

'We also have gravity boots in faux cow hide.'

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"No open toes. I have a puppy."

The back-to-school shopping season claims its first victim.

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

"Ahhh, you're in luck! You got our last 150 pairs in stock."

"There's no business like shoe business."

"Do you have this in a big-and-floppy?"

"Time to reboot our winter wardrobe?"

"I think the sign says World's Greatest Chew Treat Store Ever!"

Shoe Outlet

'They didn't fit when you got them home? Maybe your contents settled during shipping?'