Shoe Shopper Gifts

"You really need to stop shoe shopping whenever you break up with someone."

"I think the sign says World's Greatest Chew Treat Store Ever!"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Do you do much walking?"

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'A mind is a terrible thing to make up.'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

"They are so cute, and anything has to be more comfortable than these. Where did you get them?"

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

"How do those feel? Click them together a few times."

"Do they make my feet look big?"

'He doesn't sell many dress shoes, but he leads the department in slipper sales.'

"No open toes. I have a puppy."

'We also have gravity boots in faux cow hide.'

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."

"I think the odour eaters have eaten my brie sandwiches!"

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"I'm off to the cinema, darling, see you here later."

'Honestly darlings I don't know how you can spend so long looking at shoes.'

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

"Ahhh, you're in luck! You got our last 150 pairs in stock."

"Do you have this in a big-and-floppy?"

"Time to reboot our winter wardrobe?"

Shoe Outlet