Shoe Shopper T-Shirts

"You really need to stop shoe shopping whenever you break up with someone."

"I think the sign says World's Greatest Chew Treat Store Ever!"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Mister Pretty Shoes

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Do you do much walking?"

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

'A mind is a terrible thing to make up.'

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

"They are so cute, and anything has to be more comfortable than these. Where did you get them?"

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

"How do those feel? Click them together a few times."

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

"Do they make my feet look big?"

'He doesn't sell many dress shoes, but he leads the department in slipper sales.'

'Honestly darlings I don't know how you can spend so long looking at shoes.'

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."

"No open toes. I have a puppy."

"I think the odour eaters have eaten my brie sandwiches!"

'We also have gravity boots in faux cow hide.'

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"I'm off to the cinema, darling, see you here later."

"Ahhh, you're in luck! You got our last 150 pairs in stock."

'Madam's wedgie runneth over.'

Shoe Outlet

"Do you have this in a big-and-floppy?"

"Time to reboot our winter wardrobe?"

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

"There's no business like shoe business."