Shoe Saver Pillows

'And of course, it saves money on shoes.'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"The hardest thing about learning to tumble is the floor."

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Murphy bed...Murphy.

Cash Rebate

'We've passed into the fourth dimension, professor! And look, old socks as far as the eye can see!'

Shepherd

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

It's much easier on my knees.

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'Must you get new clothes every season? I'm still wearing stuff I got years ago.'

'Okay if I keep the core? I want to plant the seeds.'

Garden store owner chasing away birds from his seed display.

'hello dear, I just got my new office and i think they're trying to tell me something.'

'A decade ago, who could have envisioned beds on the wall?'

'This is a teeny. Do you have it in a weeny?'

All my owner says is "Heel, heel, heel" --- And then he wonders why I keep chewing on his shoe!

'It's a small apartment. I'd invite you in, but there's only enough room for me.'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

'Solar heat is fine, but I miss our privacy!'

Ruth the vet had become very attached to one of her patients!

"Is it me, or as the rent goes up, does the apartment actually shrink a little?"

'We can't afford a bigger house, and stop referring to your room as your cubicle.'

Then and Now

Shoe shinespit shine.