Shoe Retailer Gifts

Kangaroo shoes.

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

Stork delivering shoes.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Cut Price

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Home depot."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Mister Pretty Shoes

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"Do you do much walking?"

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

Western Outfitters.

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

'The body's ok, but the neck's too tight.'

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

To-Let Town Centre Map

Last Chance for Everything.