Shoe Guru T-Shirts

'Do you have this style in a larger size?'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Keeping warm.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

Sport Utility Boot.

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Do you like my little black number?'

Mr Metrosexual.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

At the suit makers

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

The trim reaper