Shoe Aficionado Gifts

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'She told us again and again that those shoes were killing her, but we didn't listen.'

'I just got appointed to a government job. I need some shoes that will look good up on a desk.'

Born-Again Men

"I circulate around the classroom to make sure the class runs smoothly. I need a pair of comfortable walking shoes."

Giant woman.

'Those look stunning. How do they feel?'

'Which one feels uncomfortable?' - 'They both do, you've put them on the wrong feet.'

'Do you have a size eight that looks like a seven, and feels like a nine?'

'Oh no! It's him - put the closed sign up - quick!'

A clown with large red shoes is looking for something in a size 28.

"Tell the sign company we want that 'B' replacing urgently!"

"Don't blame me, it was you who suggested meeting outside of a shoe shop."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"Yes? Well, I know plenty of girls less fixated on their designer shoes!"

"I want a pair of boots in this style!"

'Looks like madam's in luck. Perhaps she can find something in the new shipment just coming in.'

Martin's New Spy Shoe Phone Suddenly Loses Its Appeal.

'You brought them here in 1975, you say, then mislaid the ticket? Of course I've still got them - they'll be ready Thursday!'

'The wicked man.'

We're getting lots of worn heels and soles lately. I think it's because the economy is causing many people to pound the streets looking for work.

"Of course you suffer from cold feet, you wear daft shoes with no socks."

"The judge runs a clean court."

'The same thing happened when the doctor hit me on the knee.'

The last wish

'You know... I like a man in brogues.'

'This new style should sell like hot cakes.' - 'It's big on the inside and small on the outside.'

Human Cull: People with cats who insist you take your shoes off when you enter their house.

'I'm not the owner. You want to speak to Jim. He's the sole proprietor.'

"There's no business like shoe business."

"We didn't have your size, so I brought out some equally ugly styles in the same price range."

"I always say, 'If the shoe fits, charge it'."

Show bar: Guaranteed Fastest in Town.

"I just know I have a shoe design in me"