Shock-value Gourmet Gifts

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

Build Your Own Portfolio

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'That's funny... I could have sworn I saw the chef put him on the platter.'

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

Beef Wellingtons

Stand back - while I whip something up

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

Chicago School of Home Economics

Salvador Deli

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

Lunch Broker

Pizza Fencing

Meet the Artist

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'My broker advises me to have the pork bellies.'

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

'The lower-priced items contain genetically-modified foods not yet approved for human use.'

"While you were deciding, we raised our prices."

'Sorry about dinner, honey...ever since your dad was laid off work we've been trying to figure out new ways to make dinner.'

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

'What's affordable tonight?'