Shock-value Gourmet T-Shirts

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

Build Your Own Portfolio

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

Beef Wellingtons

'That's funny... I could have sworn I saw the chef put him on the platter.'

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

Stand back - while I whip something up

Chicago School of Home Economics

Salvador Deli

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

Meet the Artist

Pizza Fencing

Lunch Broker

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'My broker advises me to have the pork bellies.'

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

'The lower-priced items contain genetically-modified foods not yet approved for human use.'

"While you were deciding, we raised our prices."

'What's affordable tonight?'

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'