Shirtless Wonder Gifts

"The homeowners association called to remind you there's no shirtless lawnmowing past age forty-five."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

'Look man, no wings!'

Injured backpacker.

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

"That 'knowledge equals power' thing will take you only so far."

'The fed lowered interest rates today for everybody with hair...'

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Let me know if the fan bothers you...'

"Something light and fluffy."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

'Maybe you should stay away from dental humour.'

'If you've got a problem with the way I run things around here, take it up with my nanny.'

Kevin was very houseproud and it showed.

MasterWitch

'I can't understand why I don't lose weight.. I walk five miles a day.'

"Freudian Slip"

"I never appreciated having a cat until I lost my hair."

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!', 'Will he have new credit cards?'

"What do you suggest for someone who has been everywhere?"

"Awesome, yes - but what's the point? I mean, aside from the travel reward points."

Tarot Lying

"These days I feel half naked without some electronic device stuck in my ear."

"Now that's what I call a deep dish pizza!"

Llittle girl rising a stick horse.

'To absent teeth.'

A Witch flies into the Moon.

'I was bald by 30, invested the money saved on haircuts in the market, and retired at 50.'

'Why do you always insist on a NATURIST holiday?'

"I can't cope with these kids; they're eating me out of house and home!"