Shelter Planner Gifts

Bomb shelters: pessimists...optimists.

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'It's looking good this time: I've been here for six months and the kids haven't lost interest in me as yet...'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

Thinking "Inside the Box."

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

'Very nice, but is there room to swing a cat?'

Early House Hunting.

Zombie Fish

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human

Protection for the world

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

'My backup special...'

"That's better! - I can't bear the noise of the rain on my roof..."

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

'I'm taking no chances.'

'The end is near.'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

Saving up for a rainy day.

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."