Shelter Planner Pillows

Bomb shelters: pessimists...optimists.

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'It's looking good this time: I've been here for six months and the kids haven't lost interest in me as yet...'

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Thinking "Inside the Box."

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

'Very nice, but is there room to swing a cat?'

Early House Hunting.

Zombie Fish

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human

Protection for the world

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

'I'm taking no chances.'

"That's better! - I can't bear the noise of the rain on my roof..."

'My backup special...'

'The end is near.'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

Saving up for a rainy day.

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."