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"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Thinking "Inside the Box."

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Dog Dreams

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

On the brink.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

'Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

Desert Island Mishap

'It's looking good this time: I've been here for six months and the kids haven't lost interest in me as yet...'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'