Shed Warrior Gifts

"No, I'm not wearing a black sweater. My black cat sheds a lot."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?'

"Would it kill you to compost?"

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Must get a longer cable."

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

'First weeds of spring.'

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'What's the difference? It was a man-made lake in the first place.'

Getting Rid of the Cure

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

'They're just a few bored students with some vague ideology. They'll be gone and forgotten in no time.'

"Can't wait to see the look on his face when we put these back on the tree."

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

Recycle or ruin the planet?

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

We're polishing our brand.

"What a magnificent display of fall foliage – a blessing to behold." "*!#@!%* leaves!..."

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Recycling Depot - Magazines, Newspapers, Free CDs, books, 8 page pull-outs and other promotions

'God knows what he gets up to in there all day.'

NYC Department of Sanitation

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."