Shed-averse Superstar T-Shirts

'Just look at this carpet! I guess what they say is true. Nature does indeed abhor a vacuum.'

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

"Nasty sunburn."

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

Socially responsible kid throws rubbish in the bin.

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'

When they said that current economic problems may need to a need for more self-reliance I think they were talking about DIY...

'This is the 20th car you've bought this month. So, I've checked you into a car-addiction program.'

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

'I swear Ruby it's the laws one...'

'I'm looking for something not written by a celebrity.'

"Thanks for the interview. And, you're definitely on my shortlist."

"Me, I'm too self-conscious to go to the gym. I have my own hamster wheel at home..."

"Ladies and gentlemen...closing time. Or should Just say 'last call'?"

Unisex Hairdresser - "Told you, they don't like being called Barbers"

"I thought I'd be a successful fashion blogger by now."

'I'm on a diet at the moment.' - 'No sugar, no alcohol, no meat, no dairy, no wheat, no yeast.' - 'Basically, dinner times now consist of me quietly weeping into a bowl of overpriced weeds.'

"Your profile didn't mention this."

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

Ed uses comb-overs on his bald spots.

Oil of Frackenstein

"I just know I have a shoe design in me"

'Honey? I'm having second thoughts about the tie.'

We know you'll be riveted by today's topic, how to reduce your personal carbon footprint.

"Fine. No sea rise. But don't open that window."

Diet Clinic: Members Please use Frieght Elevator in Rear.