Sharpening Expert Gifts

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

Joust Sharpener

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

The Organic

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

Facial hair continental drift.

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

Ophiologist

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

'I'm all in.'

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

'Okay, you're not pre-vets anymore....'

'Abandon Sheep.'

'The plums are dry. It's time to prune.'

'How long has it been since you had a shearing?'

"He's got steady hands and was the top recruit from Funzone."

In and out trays for ironing.

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

Just the usual, thanks.

'In tough negotiations I've found a bit of eyeliner really distracts them!'

"Give me a middle 'C', please."

'He's easy to bluff...'

The Whip Hand

"I wish sometimes that we'd never domesticated the damn things."

'Junior! Get down from there! You're not arboreal!'

'Duck.'

Karate

Maynard Wilson - "The Bull Whisperer"