Shakespearean Witty Friend T-Shirts

"i have a premonition that we'll die, so let's just keep things platonic."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Bangers and Mash

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Hard to follow...'

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

Tristan and Isolde

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

Ham-Dram

The Gilmore Girls

A lesson in wit

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Cold caller.

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"You'll be in charge of the music down here."

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

Death reads a bedtime story.

Home Business - Wife.

Robinia Floribunda

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"So that's a one-eyed newt a toe-less frog a bald bat and a no tongued dog!" (Macbeth witch at the vets).

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

'Not tonight, I have a headache,'