Shaggy Chic Fan Pillows

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

Farm Humor.

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Mr Metrosexual.

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

Beware of the Cat.

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Carole Lombard

'Now I know why they called this airco model 'Marilyn Monroe'.'

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

A swan grabs a hold of a kite string.

"Don't get mad at me - you're the one who threw your robe in the dryer."

Lockdown had left Nigel desperate for a haircut.

How to dress for a Skype meeting when you work from home

Cheshire cat meets Cheshire dog

"I'm on Fendi and Prada, and heading toward Louis."

Rabbit eating jelly beans and doing multi-coloured farts.

I'm thinking of keeping the length and adding highlights this tim

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Danger shag carpet

'Everybody go home now - or I'll speak this party in nothing but my granny panties.'

'Tripped over the cat.'

'You just don't like shaggy dog stories, dod you?'

Not OK! magazine

Blogo, Co. Stories like a woman living in a shoe and a cow jumping over the moon soften kids up so I can hit them with the fake news later in life.

"Genuine shabby chic - popularly described in the 20th century as: 'knackered old tat!'"

'My god... I AM one of those foofy little dogs!'

The Gangster

'I'm totally stressed. Everything has become so horrendously emblematic.'

'I've got a suit for every day of the year - this is it.'