Shabbat Observance Gifts

"I'm sure this Shabbos meal is delicious but how can I taste it if I can't take a photo and post it instantly online?"

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

R.C.I.A.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

2pm meet your Creator

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

"Wow kids! You made challahs! Great job!"

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."

Boy playing and sundayschool teacher

"Poor Sadie, this Pesach she finally cracked."

And on the Seventh Day...

....And on the seventh day,god painted!

'Are you sure? - I only remember creating TWO of them.'

The Passover Police

The Life Cycle of Cholent

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"Well, actually, they are written in stone."

'Being finicky has nothing to do with taste - it's about power and control.'

Curate tells two miners that he hopes to see them on Sunday. They reply that he is welcome to come fighting with them if he likes.

'Every Friday I tell you not to eat so much, but do you ever listen?'

"Mmmm! This is delicious!"

"No, anointing oil does not come in different grades depending on the application."

'Richard, control yourself! You're swirling counter-clockwise in public!'

'I need Flag Day off.'

Social Distance Seder

"It's extremely flexible. You can wear it as comfortably to Yom Kippur services as out on a date with a shiksa."

Matzos

'Uh, is there a TEACHER'S edition?'