Sabbath Observer Gifts

"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

"Yeah, right, Noah. Like THAT'S gonna work!"

Life's a bench.

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

'How can you be so cheap?'

God's Fly Swat...

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Boy playing and sundayschool teacher

'What was all that yelling outside?'

And on the Seventh Day...

"T.G.I.F!"

John panics as he realizes being first to put money in the offering means people will know how much he gave.

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

'I do wish you would stop asking for change back when they pass the plate.'

Curate tells two miners that he hopes to see them on Sunday. They reply that he is welcome to come fighting with them if he likes.

Whoever said 'change was inevitable' never saw Fred's underwear.

"You going to visit your mother on mother's day?"

"I'm sure this Shabbos meal is delicious but how can I taste it if I can't take a photo and post it instantly online?"

Must have been rough being the only white kid in the Middle East.

"No, anointing oil does not come in different grades depending on the application."

'Richard, control yourself! You're swirling counter-clockwise in public!'

That guy was such a hypochondriac.

"It's a card from the Church of England ... and there's a fiver in it."

Presbyterian Butler

Old Archbishop with zimmer like staff

Undertakers