Religious Observation Gifts

'I couldn't decide what to give up for Lent, so I gave it all up.'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Exciting potato bugs.

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

"I think he just ashed on me."

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

Worst. God. Ever.

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Holy moly!"

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

A child and a babysitter gazing out of a window

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

No, those were not my last words! I told you you never listened.

'Watch this space.'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

Our occupations? I am a student of The Contemporary Scene and my friend, here is an observer of The Passing Parade.

Shy Man at Party

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Sushi bar Chef: DARN Sushi train spotters!

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."

"As a Christian, it's my job to love everyone. Especially people like you who don't deserve it."

Repent Ys Who Has Sinned Against ME!

At the Olympic qualifiers for staring out the window

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

Nice to see you!

'Sorry, forgot to warn you. Regular season starts next week. This is just an exhibitionist game.'