Sexual Identity Pillows

"You know, Ben, it's really cute how secure you are in your sexuality."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Bernice Mountain Dog

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"You can't define me as a man or as a woman. . . I'm transginger."

"...and I'd like to thank my mother, who is a lesbian, for guiding me through a real tough gender-identity crisis."

"Does this shirt make me look gay?"

'He's our son, Roger. If he feels like a queen trapped inside a drone's thorax, then he feels like a queen trapped inside a drone's thorax.'

"It all started when I dressed up as little red riding Hood's grandmother and found I liked it!"

"'Dear Mrs. Zeus?!' The name's Hera!"

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"Frankly, I've repressed my sexuality so long I've actually forgotten what my orientation is."

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

"Will you be keeping your own name or rebranding?"

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"I identify as it/it."

Searching for condom.