Sew-tastic Fashionista Gifts

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

I quilt therefore I am

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Mikado

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Carioca

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Bernice Mountain Dog

Falloon's Menswear. Where it's always brown trouser time.

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Pollsters

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Australian punk

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

Crocodile Shoes

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

Naked Furniture

Zorro, The Embroiderer

Haute Cuisine Meets Low Couture

A woman repairs a broken heart.

"Look what I found, this beautiful Christmas poncho. Isn't it festive?!"

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

Bertie Wooster type teaching a parrot to talk

In case he wore pants that weren't gaudy enough for golf, Len kept some cans of spray paint in his bag.

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

Joe's Tuxedos

'He's having a bad feather day.'

Emma's Bridal Wear: Gowns Veils Trains