Seussian Shenanigans Gifts

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'She'll never look for me here.'

The Frankenstein snowman.

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

Fisherman catches swimmer.

"It's another birthday card for me...!"

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

"And you say you've been erect for over 4 hours?"

The invention of baseball.

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

'We've got it narrowed down to between three and twenty-three pounds.'

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

...and the mighty sport of Kung Football was born.

Carol was the first member of her skeet-shooting team to get married.

'I demand a second opinion!'

'Hot! Hot!'

Man riding a fish

"Did you hear? A bunch of girls went through our neighborhood last night shoe-polishing our cars."

Football ground toilets include one for mascots.

'Isn't it amazing how we can fall asleep standing?'

Lots of people helping out with the self-service machine.

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

Boy shouting at and frightening an old lady

'I warned you not to keep on calling him 'Fatty Christmas'!'

"Stealing office supplies, eh? I'm in for murder one!"