Session Satirist Pillows

'Let me know when you find it difficult to speak.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Yes, one is a dog."

The prying mantis,

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

"I'm after the history section."

The little engine that delegated

"...and in conclusion..."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

Inhospitality tent.

Boring Board Meeting

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"God help us, it's that guy."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

'Secondhand smoke.'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"Well of COURSE it's mostly gobble-dee-gook! Were you expecting something different?"

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'