Serving Size Skeptic Pillows

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

All-Day Breakfast

Weight Gain Denial

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

Please seat to be weighted.

Woman and scales.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

"Good news - You can get wine in pints now! Bad news - It's British wine."

'You must have something in my size?'

'Your weight second opinion.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

'LIAR!'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

'You lie!'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

'You don't have anything in a smaller size do you?'

'I love me. . . I love me not!'

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

'Look, all I'm asking is that you turn your head, and I'll just read my weight to you.'

"Do you have this blouse in XXXXXXXXXL?"

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."

Scale SOS!

Weight Loss Cheat.