Service Window Skeptic Gifts

Complaints and Excuses.

'She's so put together!'

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Nihilistic customer service"

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

'Just look'in'

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"Of course, Perkins likes to think he can make it to the top outside the corporate structure."

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

"I need nothing and I want everything."

Freedom Puppet

"This home doesn't have a good view, but it comes with smart windows that change the view to something beautiful."

'I'm going to have to go with the leeches on this one....'

'The government is offering us financial incentives to offer out staff financial incentives to offer our customers financial incentives to come up withsome good ideas for financial incentives.'

'He's sulking because I caught him licking the cake shop window.'

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"Slow down, I want to take a peek in Barneys!"

"It's mine—and I'd appreciate your not looking out of it."

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

City Bank: The bank that sticks with you through thick.

The Thought Really Doesn't Count

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

'We have a dysfunctional congress, dysfunctional economy, dysfunctional health care system... that's why I'm quitting government so I can join the insurance lobby and run things!'

"I'm not saying the lamb is good, but nobody's complained about it yet."

"How much is that Doge in the window?"

'What do our service charges cover? -- people who ask too many questions!'

High Street

"The government believes that the benefit system is out of hand!"