Service Swapper Gifts

The doctor and the mechanic barter

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

Wha about trying another antivirus?

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"How?"

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

"Excuse me, but I think you're in my seat."

'Look what the ice cream man gave me for your iPhone!'

'I'm coping.'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"On my home planet, I was a deity."

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

Psychiatry. Oops, it 3:17, time for me to switch chairs!

'How would you have played that last ball?'

MUM Look what I swapped your mobile for

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

"This is so much better than book club."

Mr. Maynard, had you heard that Sean Hannity is coming to the Civic Auditorium? Naturally. I have two tickets to his speech. Would you like to join me? Would you like me to join you? Of course. That's why I asked. Good, then my ticket will be free. Well played, stingy entrepreneur. You're kind to notice.

Person shovelling snow remembering the past

We'll drive to Chicago, change cars, drive to Atlanta, change cars, drive to St. Louis, change cars, then we'll drive to Orlando. Car trips with airline managers.

"I think the tags got switched on our presents."

"The only calls not dropped are to your tech support."

Waiter in Waiting Room with Needle

Human Cull: Men who tell female server workers to smile.

'It's a new record — I switched long-distance companies eleven times today.'

I just wanted to congratulate you on your fine iPhone. What's the catch? No catch. I think it's a great consolation. I'll bite. To what? To your great cafe job, my aging service worker. The iPhone is made overseas, like so many high-tech products. They've outsourced all those jobs. So you can't get a good middle-class manufacturing job but you can play Angry Birds and get me a large coffee! Decent idea, points off for long-windedness.

"One of those 'damn' foreigners will be along soon to carry out your prostate examination!"

'Would that make you feel better?'

"Do I detect a new resentment?"

Owls whoo work different shifts...'Days!'...'Swings!'...'Nights!'