Service Stickler Pillows

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"They loved the food and service. But they hated the font we used in the menu."

TSA Noah

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Where's my glove?'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

Camping with Mr. Thorough

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Baseball player wearing a face mask.

The Waiter

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

Access Assessments

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

"Why does he keep in the same players?"

'The brakes are a bit dodgy, but the very loud horn compensates for that.'

D.I.Y ladder

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

How to write

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

You've got to stop getting all your history from Youtube and Netflix. Why? Because those are videos. People who make videos are making entertainment. It it's entertaining that means someone's constructed story. If it's a story, that means they left out or twisted whatever doesn't logically fit their narrative as told from one point of view. Accurate history would be completely illogical. Oliver Stone would disagree.

'Wow! I'm trying to fix my glasses with contact solution instead of super glue!'

'Don't you think this school has way too many fire drills?'

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

''Have you got any cockroaches?"

"I'm sure it is making work more enjoyable. However, there maybe some liability issues."

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."

Health and Safety vs Lawyers.

'No hitting below the belt.'

'There's been an accident down at the plant.'

'I can assure you our x-ray procedures follow very strict health and safety guidelines.'