Service Stickler Pillows

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"They loved the food and service. But they hated the font we used in the menu."

TSA Noah

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Where's my glove?'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

Camping with Mr. Thorough

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

The Waiter

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

Baseball player wearing a face mask.

Access Assessments

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

'The brakes are a bit dodgy, but the very loud horn compensates for that.'

D.I.Y ladder

How to write

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

'Wow! I'm trying to fix my glasses with contact solution instead of super glue!'

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

'Don't you think this school has way too many fire drills?'

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."

''Have you got any cockroaches?"

'No hitting below the belt.'

"I'm sure it is making work more enjoyable. However, there maybe some liability issues."

Health and Safety vs Lawyers.

'There's been an accident down at the plant.'

"For goodness sake, I don't need to do a new risk assessment each time I cut a new tree..."

'For a moment there I thought I wasn't going to find any unsafe conditions at this job site.'