Service Skeptics Pillows

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"Nihilistic customer service"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

Use Next Window.

City Bank: The bank that sticks with you through thick.

'Waiter, there's a tar ball in my soup.'

"I don't know why they call you a waiter... I'm the one that's been doing all the waiting!"

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'What do our service charges cover? -- people who ask too many questions!'

"At least my lawyer got two years more than me."

A midwife and a waiter pass through a set of double doors.

"Now you've finished your desserts, can I interest you in some chewing gum?"

I think this restaurant may have too many employees. Yes, I would like you to send over the menu steward.

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

"24 hour service. Yes, that's how long it takes us to prepare your pub lunch."

We've got to order more uniforms!

Central Bank: A Full Service Bank

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'

"Did you remember to tip the doorman?"

'Our customer service is impeccable. Please bus your own tables.'

Please Wait Here To be Served

"It's a temporary austerity measure, sir - There's a ten-day waiting period for withdrawals."

"The booths are for parties of four or more."

"We'd like to substitute you for a waiter who'll write down our order."

Supermarkets

"We've become so diversified these days...let me check to see if we have anything at all to do with customer service."

"Everything all right?"