Service Savant Pillows

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

'You'll be asked to rate my service after the meal, so could you give me a little hint just how much you expect from me?'

"I'm sorry...I need to speak with someone with a little authority around here."

"Baldo, in this business, customer service is everything. People know when you're lying! So the golden rule is always be sincere...where or not you mean it."

Great customer care is not optional.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

I did it my way.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

TV-Man

Where was I?

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Sell South Africa!'

Rudy, I've noticed your upsells have fallen drastically over the last 16 years. More and more, you just give customers what they ask for instead of pushing them to buy a larger cup, an extra cookie, or a 3-minute bathroom pass. That is unacceptable. So I've signed you up for my mandatory "How to Upsell" course and ordered you the reading material. Tuition fees will be deducted from your check. As your first lesson, I've upgraded you from the 2-week course to the 15-day one for just $50 extra. Ve

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

The Plasmas.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

The Music Lover.

"God, I love this show!"

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"I recently upgraded my resume-writing software."

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'