Service Reviewer Gifts

Couple Waiting for Service

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Payback Time

The Music Critic.

Performance reviews in Hell.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

"How was the play!"

The Critic...

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"You call that a suit?"

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"We emphasize personal service. Our broker-client ratio is three to one."

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'Ladies and Gentlemen we regret to announce there will be a slight delay to your flight.'

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"