Service Industry Navigator Pillows

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

Made in China.

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

Maps to all the corporate trap doors for sale here!

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'I've survived here by always maintaining my honesty, integrity, and plausible deniability.'

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

'Got to give it to him - He knows how to leave gracefully.'

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

Ben Bernanke says no recession yet.

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"

'Do you want someone to help you or do you just want someone to hold your hand?'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

"Can you come by Table Seven? They have some edits for the chicken."

Sale-everything must go! - Big bargain on "sale-everything must go!" sign.