Service Improver Gifts

Don't be afraid of criticism. Openly ask for feedback so you can improve service.

"Looks like we found the issue."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Conservation Area

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Valet park only"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Well, that's fixed that.'

The Day Dreamer.

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

Man's best friend

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

I'm sorry Miss, but your artistic license has expired.

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'