Service Economy Enthusiast Pillows

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'The customer is always right...'

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

Music to their ears.

DIY Butchers

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

"Thanks for waiting."

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

'We'll rotate them for free but you have to pay if you want 'em balanced.'

'I never get tipped!'

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

Maid.

"The Wi-Fi password is 'Don't call me sweetie.'"

Complaints department

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

Fall of trade due to Coronavirus

"We're out of tuna fish, but the kid in table six said you can have a bite of his tuna sandwich."