Service Economy Enthusiast Pillows

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'The customer is always right...'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

DIY Butchers

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

Music to their ears.

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"Thanks for waiting."

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

'We'll rotate them for free but you have to pay if you want 'em balanced.'

We're with the gutter cleaning service.

'I never get tipped!'

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

Maid.

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

Complaints department

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

"The Wi-Fi password is 'Don't call me sweetie.'"

Fall of trade due to Coronavirus

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'