Servant Stories Aficionado Gifts

Who wouldn't keep a footman?

"Feel free to take notes."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

'Where was the TSA?'

Don Quixote

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

Falstaff

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Jacques et Jille

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

"Come in, minion."

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'And there is where you put the batteries.'

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"... and your great great grand father lost the race but the it was discovered the tortoise was on stéroids."

Ernie is a documentary filmmaker who tells stories of folks in their professional lives -- I think he should wonk on his film titles more. One film looked at the surprisingly competitive cutthroat world of the dry cleaning business. "The Hanger Games." In another, we see astronomers traveling to remote locations to escape light pollution. "The Dark Night." Ernie showed us the bond among young butchers in an increasingly vegan world. "Stand by Meat"! And he told us the story of a man who i

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

The three Musketeers give a PowerPoint.

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

Reality TV