Servant Stories Aficionado Gifts

Who wouldn't keep a footman?

"Feel free to take notes."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Don Quixote

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Falstaff

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Jacques et Jille

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

"Come in, minion."

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

'And there is where you put the batteries.'

"... and your great great grand father lost the race but the it was discovered the tortoise was on stéroids."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

Jekyll and Heidi.