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Footman talking to butler

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

Music to their ears.

"So far so good, Bill's reverse psychology was working: no contenders had challenged him..."

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"I called you my little succulent because you're low maintenance."

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

Octopus gets tickled pink

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

Caveman bathroom

'I roll it ahead of me, and anything it hits goes into my famous Road Kill Stew.'

Jellyfish ventriloquists,

Walter The Sea Monster

'I blame my careers advisor. In a species whose teeth are continually replaced, there just isn't much call for dentistry.'

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

Earlier I said the catch-of-the-day was shark. Well, now its perch. Don't ask.

'GPS systems don't work under water, so my job as a pilot fish is quite secure...'

"The statistician is coming over to explain why this is perfectly normal."

Octopuses surf too.

"Sorry Bob, but it looks like your Pilot Fish was collateral damage in the feeding frenzy..."

"I said, we're gettin' low on ice."

'Reinventing myself.'

Gunfight at the O.K. Coral

Sailors of the Early 1700's often mistook the manatee for a beautiful mermaid...

'Like it or not, I'm having a guys night out. I'll be at the sand bar!'

'And this beauty just came on the market.'

"OK Bob, I almost have the likeness right! One more time please..."

William Tyndale

"The internet begs to differ."