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'He didn't buy us as pets, he bought us as pet-food: He has a snake!'

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

Coiled snake.'Act calm,relax,take a deep breath and reach for your knife slowly.'

A serpent is entering and exiting cloth in an interesting fashion.

Ophiologist

"Have you tried a venomus conditioner?"

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"Charming, absolutely charming."

Shark infested custard!

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Danth battle?

The Monitor is going to sleep.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland.

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"I've been at loose ends lately."

Spider's Web Trampoline

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

'Ah, beauty in the eye of the beholder!'

'Look I know they're all the same length, but concentrate, Mrs. O'Brien. Which one of these fools took your husband?'

'Of course he does - all snakes have great abs!'

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

Chameleon and TV

'I know what you're thinking.'

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

'I hibernate in a small crevice near the hot springs that stays warm all winter.'

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'I've tied a knot to remind you to feed him.'

"I've downsized."

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."