Sermon Surfers Gifts

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"The pastor asked if you would turn the Wi-Fi off during services, it helps people focus on what he's saying."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

Sex Section in the Library

Applause

"A reading from the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians..."

La Jolla School of Advanced Music Graduate Frank Kettleknyper played a mello cello.

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

'Personally, I prefer a more traditional message for Easter Service.'

Gracebook.

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

"Reverend your sermon was divine, naturally."

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

It's a mobile, wireless internet device

Rainbow violin surfers

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

'We're gonna skip the theatrics today and get right into the Word ...'

'What is it, Harold. You seem to be distracted.'

"For those of you visiting our church for the first time just raise your hand and our ushers will refresh your coffee."

"I suppose a lot of people do their worshipping online these days."

'Does 'Amen' mean 'Send'?'

"My husband and I have been unsuccessful in booking our holiday over the internet"

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

A hazard of river baptisms.

"It is a tossup between the devil you don't know and the devil you don't wan to know."

Surf's up!

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu.

"Wait!"