Sermon Innovator Pillows

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

Blue sky thinking

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Monk Prompt

Drive-thru Church

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Frankly, I'm not sure this whole idea-sharing thing is working.'

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"Ladies, gentlemen, come in and take a seat. I've decided to take this corporation in an entirely new direction."

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Sermon Applause.

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"And on the fourth day god finished the work that he had done and he rested. . ."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

Suggestion and 'outside-the-box' suggestions.

'This is a 'million dollar idea', Simms, unfortunately, our debt is two million dollars.'

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."