Spiritual Innovator Pillows

"You won't see the fire, it's a microwave hawan."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'You must heal yourself.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Drive-thru Church

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

The Path

"Show off."