Ceremony Innovator Pillows

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Zumma Cum Laude

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

The Aisle

Zoom Wedding

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

'What, They're comfortable.'

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'Will you hold it down? This is IMPORTANT!'

Double Wedding

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'They make a deal out of promoting someone around here.'

Christening

SOARING BILL

"Maybe if we hold her under longer."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may assume the position.'

After inventing the wheel, Pete wasted no time in coming up with the cartwheel...

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'We'll parachute in and surprise them with their sales award.'

Rolling the red carpet before and after the important man

"The bride was radiant, the groom was radiant. I was radiant!"

Swearing a Child.

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

"I do if she does."