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'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

Blue sky thinking

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Monk Prompt

Drive-thru Church

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Ladies, gentlemen, come in and take a seat. I've decided to take this corporation in an entirely new direction."

Sermon Applause.

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

"And on the fourth day god finished the work that he had done and he rested. . ."

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Suggestion and 'outside-the-box' suggestions.

'This is a 'million dollar idea', Simms, unfortunately, our debt is two million dollars.'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."