Series Finale Survivor Gifts

"I think we need to have that talk to explain how bad stuff happens in the world."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Desert Island BBQ

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

A guide to seasons in the North East

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

Need tickets.

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

No Loitering

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

"For the last time — there is no ‘other woman’!"

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

"No, we're no gods, we're God's gift to women!"

Robot Bores

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

Snail in desert sees sign for shade trees.

I don't know what's worse-drowning over here or roasting over there!

'You need to relax...take some time off... enjoy yourself...be back in 10 minutes... get this report done.'

"I'm raising four kids, a husband, three pets and I work. This is nothing."

Here's to all those poor souls in retail who have to work on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's so their employers can make a few crummy extra bucks..."

"Isn't this a sequel?"

'I'm bored! Do we have any bubblewrap?'

"Do you need to have seen the first two thousand and forty eight?"

The Grim Reaper

"My wife's so terrible at cooking, we pray after we've eaten..."

"As a matter of fact, I did get you a Valentine's Day gift."

"Halleljujah! I'm saved!"

'Help! Send batteries for phone and laptop.'